Tuesday, April 15, 2008

O ÚLTIMO DEGRAU - 02.06.2007 a 06.06.2007

Sentado no cadeirão de madeira que se instalou na varanda da casa dos Missionários Combonianos, faço uma contemplação emotiva da rua larga, irregularmente alcatroada, mas airosa, sem falta, em partes destroçada por raízes de acácias irreverentes, que, na aflição escura e rarefeita do interior da terra, removem com violência e estrondo lento o cimento que as oprime. É esta a minha última noite em Moçambique! Tudo o que começa acaba. Não nos consolam essas teorias primárias da filosofia grega, segundo as quais tudo se gera por tudo, o que há sempre houve e há-de haver, não existe efeito produzido por uma só causa nem causa que produza um só efeito. O delicado cesto de vime onde guardamos os sentimentos é muito menos abstraccionista e adopta uma estreita visão da universalidade. Sabe, e talvez esteja certo, que não se repetem os magníficos momentos passados, nem se transformam noutros semelhantes. É por isso que as almas choram, por se despedirem da felicidade. Paga-se com a dor da despedida a alegria da chegada e da estada, é uma fatalidade da nossa condição. Lembra-te que o bom e o mau, a tristeza e a alegria, o amor e o ódio, são duas faces da mesma moeda, que se alimentam incessante e mutuamente, pois cada uma pressupõe a existência da outra.

É a minha última noite em Moçambique, mas o adeus começou há uma semana.

É Domingo. Tratando-se do último fim-de-semana nesta Terra, decido percorrer a cidade a pé. Fazer uma caminhada longa e extrospectiva, proceder àqueles estudos observatórios nos quais damos connosco a reparar nas imperfeições dos edifícios, na profundidade e significado de momentos banalíssimos, no chilrear beijoqueiro dos pássaros, na singularidade das pedras, nas pitorescas conversas dos transeuntes. É dia de mercado em Nampula. Desloco-me às imediações do mesmo e sou detido por uma curiosa livraria de rua. Num lençol violeta de tecido sintético estendido no passeio, um distinto alfarrabista gere trinta livros, os diários e alguns semanários. Expõe muito do conhecimento disponível nesta cidade, onde não existe um estabelecimento comercial dedicado somente à venda de livros. À volta do pano, junta-se uma reduzida casta de interessados, literatos, porventura intelectuais, como se diz. Paro, deito uma vista. Mas no momento em que me debruçava para analisar um compêndio de provérbios macuas, os ouvidos detectam um solene e erudito diálogo. Dois homens, um jovem e outro de meia-idade, encontraram naquela livraria o lugar ideal para discorrerem sobre assuntos de política social com a maior acuidade. O mais velho, numa professoral entoação “Hoje em dia, tem muita gente a ir para a França, Alemanha e toda a Europa.”, o mais novo, assentindo à constatação e querendo arrimar a sua sabedora embarcação, “É verdade, pá, e África do Sul também.”, e o professor, “Não, eu estava a falar da Europa.”, e o aluno, “Sim, sim, Europa, como Suécia e Canadá”. Tratada com acérrimo vigor estatístico e perfeito rigor geográfico a questão da emigração, importou nessa ocasião reflectir e proferir larachas pertinentes sobre a migração. O professor, “E também tem muita gente a vir do mato para as cidades.” O mais novo, que nesta altura já tinha reconhecido a superior cultura e informação do seu interlocutor, indagou, semicerrando as pálpebras e fazendo ares de quem prepara uma questão relevante, “Acha, nesse caso, que podemos falar de fuga de cérebros?”

Continuei a caminhada. Deambulei pelo mercado, onde se vende tudo quanto existe. Rádios e telefonias, capulanas e vestidos, sapatos e peúgas, cintos e fitas, cadeiras e aparadores, sofás e cortinados, sorrisos, sonhos e ilusões, como sempre acontece nas feiras dos pobres. À saída, sou interpelado por um polícia que, arrogantemente, me solicita o passaporte. “Ó senhor polícia, o passaporte está em casa.”, “É pá, você não sabe que tem de andar com o passaporte?”, “Tem razão, mas vim só dar uma volta, e não me lembrei.”, “Então vamos ter que resolver isto…”. Enquanto me sugeria que o corrompesse com 3 ou 4 euros, punha a cabeça numa girândola para detectar algum transeunte menos conveniente àquele momento. “Olhe, nem trouxe carteira, para lhe dizer a verdade”. Quando mentalmente decidia se havia de ir até à esquadra com o distinto agente ou ceder e alimentar de vícios aquele miserável espírito, surge um aluno que me identifica com amizade, demove o polícia, e sigo em paz. Há um provérbio repetido por estas paragens segundo o qual o cabrito come onde está amarrado. E sabe bem ouvir as legitimações envergonhadas daqueles que dizem “Se não for eu, são os outros.”, “Eles também roubam, por isso…”, “De outra forma um gajo não se safa.”, etc. Aldrabar, mentir, corromper, cunhar, burlar, influenciar e por aí adiante, ainda se suporta, mas encontrar nisto virtude ou fatalidade, inteligência e orgulho, isso é que tresanda a torpeza imunda. Ou alguém duvida que por trás do esquema e do negócio conspurcado, das cunhas e das influências, da subtil privatização do interesse e bens públicos estão as crianças pobres, a morrer de fome, os doentes ignorados e os injustiçados? Mas o Homem convenceu-se de que os seus pequenos pecados não afectam ninguém e de que as suas virtudes, isoladas, não tornam o mundo melhor. E perante o algoz sou eu, o acusador, quem pede justiça e, à frente, solicito a minha execução. Suma estupidez, Maior hipocrisia!

Dois dias antes da partida, desloquei-me ao orfanato das irmãs da caridade. São sessenta ou setenta crianças, algumas doentes, outras, simplesmente abandonadas, excluídas. Era aqui que vinha quando, desesperado com os resultados da minha passagem por Moçambique, procurava um significado para estes tempos. E, sem dúvida, o sofrimento das crianças é a única injustiça completa, o último reduto para amolecer a maldade e destronar o desalento. Entro no berçário e uma das irmãs atira-me para o colo uma criança de meses. Esquelética, pele engelhada, baça, pendurada nos ossos, olhos arregalados e cabelo enfraquecido. “Trouxeram-na ontem, foi abandonada pela mãe. Está muito mal, mas vai viver, com a graça de Deus”. Foi este, e não outro, o momento mais relevante da minha estadia em Moçambique. Foi à procura dele que vim, na esperança de ter junto ao peito, num soluçar descompassado e lânguido, o ser humano mais indefeso do mundo, e lembrá-lo para sempre, receber a certeza inquestionável de que vale a pena viver. Canso-me de vos ver correr, acredito de vos ver acreditar, dou comigo neste limbo onde franzo o sobrolho àqueles para quem tudo é acaso, pois tanto acaso é acaso a mais, e sorrio complacentemente perante aqueles que vêem no mal a liberdade dos homens e no bem a mão de Deus.

Passei pelo mercado, uma última vez. Comprei as bananas, mas não me despedi dos miúdos. Não criei mais do que uma relação comercial com eles. Dou-vos fruta e, em troca, dais-me leveza de consciência. É isto que procuramos. Dizia-me o Arlindo, em tempos, “As pessoas têm uma boneca sem pernas, e toca de mandá-la para os pobrezinhos de Moçambique”. Esta postura face à pobreza, tão cara para nós. Miserável daquele que se engrandece por dar aquilo que lhe não faz falta! A verdade é que nós, humanos, nos perdemos em algum momento da história, ou, talvez melhor, ainda buscamos a nossa humanidade. Hodiernamente, os referenciais valorativos situam- -se na verificação do não ser. Ninguém pretende ser bom, mas apenas não ser mau, nem ser justo, mas apenas não ser injusto, nem ser excelente, mas apenas não ser mentecapto. É a axiologia do negativismo, em que o ser se desvaloriza e o não ser se enaltece, “Desde que passe…, só quero é que não se drogue…”. Alguns entre nós pensam que se definem por quanto fazem. Enganam-se. O nosso valor determina-se pela subtracção daquilo que fazemos por aquilo que se pode, legitima e razoavelmente, esperar de nós. Quando o resultado desta operação for positivo, poderás, sem vergonhas, finalmente, respirar o ar, pois já o mereces.

Último dia na Faculdade. Depois da entrega dos exames, alguns alunos tomam a palavra para proferir dizeres sobre o nosso encontro. Tendo eles um percurso académico tão seviciado, bastou cumprir a minha obrigação para lhes alimentar a sede de justiça e equilíbrio, de seriedade e empenho. Afinal, a lanterna de luz ténue é um clarão na escuridão absoluta. Guardarei sempre com saudade amiga o tempo da nossa convivência.

A caminho de casa, encontro o ancião de Gimo. Pergunto-lhe de onde vem. “Xi, eu vem de longe!”, “Andou quantos quilómetros?”, “É pá, andei 7 quilómetros”, “E demorou quanto tempo?”, “Demorei 15 minutos”. Gato escalfado tem medo de água fria, mas com presunto e ervilhas fica muito saboroso. Parvo sou eu por não ter compreendido que este povo não precisa de tempo e espaço para saber onde está e para onde vai.

Finalmente, em casa dos missionários. Pela primeira vez, assisto à missa diária do final de tarde. O Arlindo agradece a deus a minha presença naquela casa e eu, interiormente, agradeço-lhe a ele em particular, e aos Combonianos em geral tanta amizade e consideração. A dedicação, a tolerância, o exemplo, tantos momentos de novidade e aprendizagem, enfim, uma dívida incomensurável que o credor não reconhece e o onerado não esquece.

A liberdade só se atinge através do sacrifício. Tudo tem quem nada quer. Suponho que todos saibamos que não podemos mudar o mundo. Mas a verdade é que há entre nós quem tente. Mais uma vez, será necessário imaginar Sísifo feliz.

Já subi o primeiro degrau desta escada infindável. Antes de entrar no avião, olho para trás, respiro pela derradeira vez o ar húmido e tépido que paira bonançoso sobre esta terra. “Obrigado, levo-te comigo”.

A fonte da preciosidade é a escassez. Por isso não devemos pretender ser eternos. O sorriso forte e os olhos rasos de água só encontram justificação na raridade ou unicidade do momento. Para se ser feliz é preciso ter consciência ou subconsciência de que um dia se morre e tudo acaba.

Adeus, Moçambique!

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